It’s almost Valentine’s Day, you idiots! How do you tell your Valentine that you love them? Here are some last minute Valentine ideas inspired by my kids, as seen previously on WeDon’tWriteOnMeat.com (you have to say that last part in a TV announcer voice):
- Quantify your love. Tell your Valentine just how much you really love them. For example, tell them you’ll love them ’till the cows come home, or that you love them bigger than a short tree. Actually, if you love them only bigger than a short tree, perhaps you should just keep that to yourself.
- Fix something for them! Present your Valentine with the ultimate solution to any problem, or give them a sucker to improve their kisses.
- Rescue them from work in a helicopter!
- Do something fun. You could bake them some cookies! Or, you could take them out dancing! Try this line: “Say HELLO to my dance floor, ’cause it is AWESOME with you on it!”
- Make a vow to always be with them. ALWAYS. To truly show your love, you should probably follow them everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE. It’s for love, idiot.